Lettin’ ‘em down easy, so your day is perfectly your way…

We’ve all had this happen. Friend offers, “If you need any help, seriously, I’m there!” I think intentions are good, but the “help” from friends isn’t always help or good. Weddings are typically a high emotion event to start with, but when you get friends and family involved the stakes are raised dramatically. Feelings can get hurt, tempers can flare, and over promising and underdelivering is a strong likelihood. Letting down your friend who wants to help is easy, just say, “Oh I’ve hired help so my friends and family can relax and enjoy the day!” Easy peasy, lemony squeezy. One blog I wrote addresses people not using their friend as a photographer. But I really feel this needs to be extended to most of the day. Unless you’re having a friend pick up the Taco Bell and Chick Fil A orders (a bride and groom served this food as their meal and since they needed it picked up during the ceremony to serve after a friend had to drive to town and pick it up), I recommend hiring professionals to do all the details, from cake to coordination to cleaning. You don’t want to lose a friend because it didn’t go according to plan and you will forever hold them at fault. Hire professionals, and then friends can fill in on the day of if absolutely necessary. The day of, friends are more likely to take it upon themselves to do something the way they think you like it, even tho it’s more likely the way they like it and they’ve convinced themselves you like things that way too. Family can be worse because they tend to stress the bride or groom out in ways only family can. But the worst possibility is the friend showing up late, or not at all. It’s one thing for a friend to miss your wedding, but what if you’d asked that friend to lead the set up process and now you’re stuck decorating and setting up chairs when you should’ve been getting your makeup done. I am not knocking everyone’s friends, not all friends are flakey and most come thru in the hard times which is why you’re friends. It’s just safer to lean on the side of caution when planning such a big and emotional day of a wedding. You can also be bossier with the hired help, whereas your friend may not like you after you sprout snakes out of your head and become the Bridezilla if only for the day, tho some brides do this for a week or longer….. Hire help where you can, it’s best practice in these Medusa inducing wedding events.